Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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