apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize