Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
