I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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