ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
