its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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