I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
