The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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