I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
