You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize