i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
