I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I forget how to act sober
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
