I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
