dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize