Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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