Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
