People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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