I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize