why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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