her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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