Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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