Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
