i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
