When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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