NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
