I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
