I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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