I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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