You're my little dorito
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
