in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
