Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
