That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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