Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
