I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
