Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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