Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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