and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize