STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
