is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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