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I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
