girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
