He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
