a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
