Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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