Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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