yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
