I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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