I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
