i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
