careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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