why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize