overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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