And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
the raccoons are back...
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