Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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