Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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