He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
