Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
