We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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