Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
