There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize