Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
