It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
