i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
