I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
