your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
