oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
